'The Whitepaper Library was built 30 years after the arrival of the doctors, a marvelous spectacle.'

I’m a noob. WTF is an NFT?

A Non-Fungible Token (NFT) is a digital token that has its value tied to a specific asset such as digital artwork and thus acts as a certification of ownership of the asset. You can buy it, own it and trade it. Besides looking cool, funny or ridiculous, as just a digital item with monetary value and uniqueness, NFT’s can offer other utility functions like getting exclusive access to gaming clubs, event participation, virtual battles and betting. It can act as a VIP card in the world of addictions. Whenever you get tired of it all, you can sell your NFT to the next victim to pay for your gaming addiction rehab.

Who are the Goons of Balatroon?

The Goons are species of sentient beings in an alternate universe where some crazy shit has happened. Two scientists, a Bull and a Bear, spent ages experimenting with time travel when an element, called Troonshard, was discovered to have the capabilities of manipulating spacetime. During one experiment, the doctors noticed several mutations occur and realised that using this element wasn’t without consequences. The Bull scientist wanted to keep going, and the Bear scientist didn’t. As a result, they ended up getting into a fight that ended up with them both travelling 9696 years back into the past to an ancient civilisation where the Bulls and Bears were unsophisticated brutes and could be taken advantage of. Long story short, their fight keeps going on a large scale, introducing a massive war between the two factions and a hunt for Troonshard. When you join them in the midst of this chaos, you must choose a side.

Why Goons? What makes you different?

Humour and ridiculousness. Think of a universe where everything is just one big “Great Accident”. Nothing makes sense at first, yet everything is hilarious and ties in together at the end. We got tired of looking at various NFT collections that were just a copy or remix of the previous one and concluded that one common thing missing everywhere was humour and fun. We created an NFT project that’s beyond “cool art” on your Twitter avatar. We want to build an engaging community that contributes to the further development of our universe with hilarious and ridiculous ideas and has a voice in further development and progress. We will introduce many utility functions that will contribute to the growth of our project long-term and add unique value to our collection over time.

How were the Goons created?

Tech version: Each Goon was created by time algorithms, generated by combining several properties and randomising rarities in several categories. These rarities include clothing items, jewellery, and facial features. Non-tech version: We got high, thought of the idea, hired an awesome freelancer artist who ended up joining our team full time. We worked around the clock, ate fast food and got fat for months straight to bring this universe to you. You now need to purchase a Goon so that we can afford a gym membership to get in shape. We need our bodies and minds completely reset to take this project to the next level.

Can I upgrade my Goons?

Absolutely! The Goon Factory will bring options to add and modify traits and soup up your Goons to get them ready for battles and competitions. We depend on you to see the Bulls with dicks defeating the Bears with sticks in the future.

How much is each Goon? What are your Goonomics?

Each Goon is sold at 0.069 ETH. There will be 9696/10000 Goons available, of which 9600 will be on sale during our drop. 304 of them were burned by time travel as they attempted to carry non-teleportable items through a Gen-1 time machine. 96 of them will sit in a time loop jail and will only be given away in special competitions or sold if our community wallet is ever depleted from spending all the money on hookers and blow. Right. While that’s a fun idea, not everything is about fun here, okay? We take our community wallet seriously.

What happens to my Goons after the purchase?

Your Goon NFT will appear in an address connected to the wallet you used to purchase the Goon. You can visit our <coming soon> section while logged into your Metamask or view them on OpenSea.

What is the $TROON token?

$TROON is an ERC-20 token that you can use for various things. Amongst those things are accumulating vast amounts of it, shilling it on Twitter and then dumping it on your followers. Stop, don’t do that. Use it to do more useful things such as: Renaming your Goons with unique, custom names, crafting cards (aka breeding), customising Goons further, buying more card packs

What can the community expect?

You can definitely expect a mindfuck. That’s what we’re here to do. But seriously, we will re-invest heavily back into the GOB brand. This includes everything we mentioned in the last answer. In addition, each month, we will do floor buy-backs and use the purchased Goons for free contest giveaways, airdrops or burn them to reduce the supply and help the value of your Goons rise over time. We will also fill the wallet with each achieved milestone that progresses our universe a step forward. This will come from the original community allocation pot, as well as secondary market transaction fees. Out of the 2.5% secondary markets transaction fee, 0.5% will go to the GOB team, and 2% will be dropped back to the community wallet. Most importantly, the funds will be allocated towards the development of the games, a cartoon series and a DAO, amongst other fun things. We want you to be with us along the ride, contributing to the universe’s development. We want you to feel like you’re investing in a business by running it with us, making our collective universe worth a lot in the future.

What is your vision for the project?

We are self-aware degenerates who broke away from normal society. Our vision is motivated not by simply selling out a collection but instead to create a universe that will tap into our most primitive impulses through addictive gameplay, ridiculous ideas and fun communal experience. Our end goal is to grow a fun, multi-functional, recognisable creative brand and continuously provide value to the community that in many ways owns our brand. Our main path for such actualisation is providing value through - gaming. Blockchain technology offers the opportunity to revolutionise the industry, and who are we to deny ourselves from dipping our toes there?

Gaming? Tell me more plz.

The Goons universe will include all of those NFT aspects that you guys have grown fond of, such as exclusive content, merch, community events and bragging rights that you own super cool shit. But that’s not where our ambitions lie. We want to build a super fun, addictive game that not only allows you to earn tokens that can be converted to real-life money but also brings the community together, sometimes in cynical ways (don’t ask, you’ll see). The game itself will be released in two stages. First, there will be a PvP game, and it will resemble an absurd, mutated mix of Axie and Hearthstone. Then, the game will expand into a fresh and full-blown strategy game featured on a massive map where you can build, chat, battle and a bunch of other crazy stuff that we have been theorising about for years.

You guys sound fun. What should I do?

The first thing you can do is join our Discord community so you can be our new degen-friend. Help us out by offering ridiculous and yet sound ideas to help with the progression of the project.

Who founded the Goons?

We are a team of crypto and NFT fanatics with numerous crypto projects that have led us to this project, which we foresee being our magnum opus. The lack of utility creation in NFT projects has presented us with a unique opportunity to create something great right in the heart of the digital world. Among us, there is a crazy developer, a wacky artist, a degenerate community manager, a surprisingly-not-boring data guy and last but not least, a creative content machine who is really annoying but super helpful. We also have a rock-solid network of devs, artists and freelancers who are excited and ready to blow this thing up!